The purpose of this section is to provide you with an
annotated list of articles, books and websites designed to help you
understand more about some of the basics of divorce.
Custody
and Visitation
Child
Custody: Solomon's Choice
Co-Parenting Relationships:
Shifting Perceptions
Alimony in Minnesota
Transformative Mediation
Relational Shifts by Lee Lieberman, Tasha Lieberman and Julie Rappaport (2007).
This is a new book that provides families with an intimate portrait of the realities of divorce while offering a potentially positive alternative. Divorce affects all aspects of every family member’s
physical, mental, emotional, social, sexual,and spiritual
self. This book asks: Does a family have to end just because a marriage does?
Mom’s House, Dad’s House
by Isolina Ricci (Macmillan, 1980). This book discusses the importance
of making real homes for children at both parents’ residences.
An excellent book and guide to the issues and emotions of children of
divorce. A practical and insightful emphasis is placed on parenting
roles and putting the interests of the children first.
What Every Child Would Like Parents to Know About Divorce
by Lee Salk. (HarperCollins, 1978). A psychiatrist discusses the emotional
issues children encounter when parents divorce. An excellent chapter
“What to Tell Your Child” provides information on explaining
impending divorces to children.
Second Chances: Men, women and Children, a Decade
After Divorce. By Judith Wallerstein
and Sandra Blakeslee (Ticknor and Fields, 1989). A highly regarded
book among professionals follows sixty (60) families through divorce
and the next decade to document long-term affects of divorce on parents
and their children. This book shows the disturbing effects caused by
divorce and demonstrates evidence of long term damage. The authors
clearly show the devastating effects on children when one or both parents
do not stay fully involved in their lives. The emotions of divorce,
including anger, grief, fear, distrust and confusion are demonstrated
in examples and case studies. The authors illustrate the importance
and need for parents to effectively deal with these emotions on a personal
level, and assist their children as well.
Vicki Lansky’s Divorce Book for Parents by
Vicki Lansky (Signet, 1996) Easy to read, and offers detailed and age-specific
information on typical reactions of children experiencing divorce, and
suggestions for making things easier.
Growing Up Divorced by Linda Francke (Faucett,
1984). Guide to understanding the emotional issues children face when
their parents divorce. Age-specific, this book offers valuable advice
on helping kids understand divorce.
The Nurturing Father by Kyle D. Pruett (Little,
Brown, 1988). A child psychiatrist describes his study of families
where the father is the primary caretaker of young children. He concludes
that these children do especially well because both parents are strongly
involved with parenting – most likely because the mothers in these
circumstances are often more involved than fathers are, when the mothers
are the primary caretakers.
Who Will Take the Children? A New Custody Option
for Divorcing Mothers and Fathers by Susan Meyers and Joan Lakin
(Bobbs-Merrill, 1983) Describes the social pressures on women making
the choice to allow their children’s father to provide primary
care. According to the authors, the vast majority of the mothers who
make this decision believe this was best for them and their children
and that they were better parents as a result of their decision. Support
for women considering this option.
The Dinosaurs Divorce by Laurene and Marc Brown
(Little, Brown 1986) Cartoon dinosaurs address children’s fears
about divorce. Kids learn it is OK to feel sad, angry, scared and relieved
and that life will get better. (Age six and under.)
Sometimes a Family Has to Split Up by Jane Werner
Watson (Crown Publishers, 1988) Illustrated and well told, this story
is about a child whose parents fight and decide to divorce. The story
shows how the child’s new life unfolds, acknowledges fear and confusion
and tells of the parent’s reassurances. (Age six and under)
Please Come Home by Doris Sanford (Multnomah
Press, 1985) The story of Jenny whose parents divorce. A teddy bear
gives wise advice and helps her as she recovers from her sadness. (Four
to seven year-olds.)
At Daddy’s on Saturdays by Linda Walvoord
Girard (Albert Whitman and Co., 1987) A young girl watches as her father
moves out of the home and deals with feelings of sadness and fear.
Reassured by her father’s love, attention and new home, she gains
acceptance of her new life. (Five to ten-year olds.)
When Your Parents Get a Divorce: A Kid’s
Journal by Ann Banks (Puffin Books, 1990) A creative concept for
children gives them a journal or notebook where they can describe their
own experiences of changing family dynamics. Areas to draw, write and
release feelings offer a release for the emotions of divorce. (Ages
eight to fourteen.)
The Facts About Divorce by Caroline Eversen Lazo
(Crestwood House, 1989) Readable in less than half an hour, this book
answers questions children have about divorce. It offers things kids
can do to make the process easier on themselves. (Ten to fifteen year-olds.)
Everything You Need to Know About Your Parent’s
Divorce by Linda Carlson Johnson (Rosen Publishing Group, 1993)
A simple and easy to read explanation of what divorce means and how
it affects children. (Ages ten to thirteen.)
The Kids’ Book of Divorce by The Unit
at the Fayerweather Street School (Lewis Publishing, 1981) Twenty kids,
ages eleven to fourteen speak to their peers about divorce. Written
by children of divorced families.
How It Feels When Parents Divorce by Jill Krementz
(Knopt, 1984) Written by nineteen children, ages seven to seventeen,
kids talk about their experiences with many aspects of divorce, step-families,
new siblings, two homes and more. Reassuring to children is the plain
talk by peers, and good reading for parents because it gives valuable
insight into what children feel and what matters to them.
Surviving Your Parent’s Divorce by Charles
Boeckmen (Franklin Watts, 1980) This book describes what a teenager
can expect from the divorce process and how to cope. Discusses step-families.
(Age thirteen to sixteen.)
Coping When Your Family Falls Apart by Dianna Daniels
Booher (Julian Messner, 1979) This book describes the emotional game-playing
in which parents and children often engage during a divorce, the emotions
the child may encounter, methods of coping, legal terminology and step-families.
(Teenagers)
Divorce Resources
www.divorcenet.com/mn/mn.html
Information specific to divorcing in Minnesota. Links to legal forms
and articles dealing with various aspects of family law. Also contains
an online divorce law library, and a section with answers to frequently
asked questions.
www.divorceprofessionals.com
Contains helpful articles and links and also includes a section where
site users can ask a lawyer a question.
www.mnbar.org
Answers basic questions related to divorcing in Minnesota.
www.collaborativelaw.org
Explanation of what collaborative law is and how it works. Provides
a list of attorneys in the Twin Cities Area who practice collaborative
law.
www.collaborativepractice.com
This is the website
for the International Assocation of Collaborative professionals (IACP)
and has a great dea of information about the Collaborative Method as
it is practiced throughout the world.
www.extension.umn.edu/parentsforever
A child-centered, comprehensive and straightforward response to divorce
education needs from the University of Minnesota Extension Service.
Divorcesource.com
- Saving Your Marriage
View articles, research and cases, as well as participate
in forums and chats related to divorce.
