Most people would shudder at the idea of turning their
most private family matters over to any government. Yet, without knowing
it, parties do exactly that when they decide to go to court. Getting
caught up in the process step by step, individuals often fail to fully
recognize the implications of their decisions. Under the traditional
adversarial methods, people in divorce have turned the decisions on
these matters over to an attorney, who turns some of these matters over
to a judge. Suddenly, they find themselves sitting in a courtroom, hearing
public arguments over very personal matters. Legal fees are rising,
deadlines are coming and going, decisions are coming down without their
input, and their entire life seems out of control.
By filing certain matters with courts, you essentially
agree that you and your spouse are giving up your right to control certain
aspects of your personal life. You essentially agree to turn these matters
over to a government official.
Even individuals whose political philosophy holds that
government should not be directly involved in our day to day lives will
not hesitate to look to the government to resolve divorce issues that
they are not equipped to handle. Even individuals whose political philosophy
endorses broad governmental roles would normally oppose having government
officials decide specific daily parenting issues. Yet, in divorce, people
across the political spectrum find themselves inexplicably in their
attorneys' offices demanding that "they" should "do something
about" a particular parenting irregularity of their spouses.
Alternate dispute resolution allows you to have more control
of your divorce. You retain more control over the money, the time, the
particular decisions and the professionals involved in the process.
Even if you can't make an agreement, you can control who makes the decisions.
Rather than leaving decisions to a judge you know
nothing about - a judge randomly assigned to your case - you can choose
the most respected expert in your area to render binding or advisory
opinions about your circumstances. By controlling the process, you dramatically
increase the probability of satisfactory results.
